A Lesson Without Pain is Meaningless
“A lesson without pain is meaningless”. I have always heeded that saying throughout my life. However, only after my experiences in the summer and fall of 2014 could I begin to understand the gravity of that phrase.
Entering Texas A&M University in fall of 2013, I thought I could achieve anything. I was determined to start researching under a professor, volunteer or intern for a job in my field, and find a scholarship to lighten my parents’ burden in funding my out-of-state tuition. However, none of these had happened to my expectations. Although I volunteered as a web designer, the position was not what I had expected, working alone and requiring a lot of trial and error to get anything done. Even though I searched for a research position since fall of 2013, I had no luck in getting one. To top it all off, all of my scholarship applications got rejected and I was still burdening my parents’ with my expensive tuition as of summer of 2014.
With these problems in my mind, the summer of 2014 was a very depressing period for me. Despite working hard and maintaining a perfect GPA, none of the great things I dreamt of came to fruition. I became disillusioned about life. Without any willpower left, I spent most of my summer alone in my apartment wasting my life.
One day, I was surprised by a call from my brother, who had gone to California for an internship. He asked me if I wanted to travel there to spend time with him. Without anything to do in College Station, I accepted his offer without hesitation and flew there the following week. However, we had only spent one day together until we started arguing. In hindsight, I realize that I was the one who started it because I was unable to wake up to the travel itinerary we had set beforehand. Fueled by my depression, the fight was one of the worst fights I had with my brother. I finally decided to part ways with him and traveled on my own.
Traveling alone, I didn’t know what to do. I knew I had nothing to do back in College Station, but I was not sure what to do alone in California. I started walking. I’m not sure where I was going but I knew I couldn’t stay in the same place forever. Unknown to me at the time, this was one of the most important decisions in my life. Walking from one city to the next, I had time to think about my life and got to meet very interesting people along the way, renewing my determination and my point of view on life. With my willpower rekindled, I decided to take a train back to College Station.
Back in College Station for my fall term, I had managed to get a research position on a topic I was interested in. I knew then that I was on the right track. However, research wasn’t as simple as I had initially thought. It took up a lot of my time and although it was very interesting, I was more concerned about the out-of-state tuition my parents still had to cover. I thought about dropping the research position and get a paying job in the library to help my parents, but decided against it, believing that I was still doing the right thing with my research.
Luckily, I made the right decision. The department of Electrical and Computer Engineering was offering scholarships to undergraduates conducting research. I applied for this program with my research and received a scholarship which qualified for instate tuition.
I have learned a lot going through these challenges. I gained resilience, to always stand strong in the face of overwhelming odds. I learned patience. I realize that when things didn’t go my way, I got impatient and that caused my depression. Finally, I learned humility. I couldn’t have achieved anything without my friends and family, even my brother, who drove me to contemplate about my life while traveling alone.
There’s no such thing as a painless lesson. For you can’t gain anything without sacrificing something else in return. However, once you have endured that pain and overcome it, you’ll now find that you have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle.
